Why are Hats Popular at Horse Races in the U.S.?

It’s always exciting when it’s time for the major horse races here in the United States. But it caused Miss Meredith Sweetpea to wonder why it is popular for hats to be worn—the fancier the better! That thought merited investigation, and here’s what she found.

Image courtesy of City Beat

The Kentucky Derby

According to a curator at the Kentucky Derby Museum in Louisville, Kentucky, the tradition of wearing hats at the horse races harken back to the French and British racing traditions.

Colonel Meriwether Lewis Clark, Jr (the grandson of explorer General William Clark of the Lewis and Clark Expedition) was the founder of the Louisville Jockey Club and the builder of Churchill Downs, the home of the Kentucky Derby.

Clark’s mother was Abigail Churchill, from one of Kentucky’s first families, and after his mother’s death at a young age, Clark went to live with his aunt and her sons: John and Henry Churchill.

Following a trip to Europe, with his wife Clark came home with ideas about building a racetrack in Louisville. He and the Churchill brothers built the complex on land donated by the Churchills. He had also noticed that attendees at the European horse races were always well dressed, and since he had developed a taste for the finer things, he and his wife Mary encouraged Louisville citizens to dress up for the inaugural Derby. The tradition stuck.

The idea of wearing hats really took off in the 1960s when horse races began to be televised. Perhaps it was a way to steal a little screen time!

Hat by Hats in the Belfry

Types of Hats for Horse Races

A traditional hat, known as a Derby Hat, is an elegant creation with a round crown and wide brim, and can often be extravagant in design and size. It can be decorated with flowers, ribbons or other items. It was rumored that “the bigger the hat, the better the luck.” Color is also an important factor.

Another acceptable accessory is a fascinator, a formal headpiece attached to the side or top of the head by a headband or a clip. It is sometimes called a clip-hat or half-hat. The fascination with wearing fascinators took center stage with the royal wedding of Prince William and Catherine Middleton in 2011.

See our related post: How to Wear a Fascinator

Hats at Other Horse Racing Events

The tradition of wearing hats to horse races didn’t remain at the Kentucky Derby. America’s Triple Crown races include the Preakness and the Belmont Stakes, where you’ll see many beautiful hats adding to the allure and excitement of the day.

Miss Meredith Sweetpea

Tips for Choosing and Wearing your Derby Hat

Whether you’re attending the Kentucky Derby, the Belmont Stakes or the Preakness, or simply watching the races from a watch party near home, remember these simple tips offered by Hats in the Belfry, a Maryland milliner.

1. Be original. Showcase your personality in your hat.
2. Let your hat steal the show. Don’t be afraid to go extravagant in style or materials. Wear your hat with a simple sundress, and make sure it matches your outfit.
3. Be prepared for wind; secure your hat with hair pins if necessary.
4. Choose a hat that will withstand all types of weather—it could rain! If your hat is composed of a delicate fabric or silk, cover it with a clear plastic bag.

Seven Ways You Can Be Annoying as a Party Guest

Meredith Sweetpea found this blog post by Betsy Cribb Watson and Southern Living and thought the author’s ideas were good points about how although a guest to a party at your home may be trying to be polite and follow etiquette rules, they can actually be annoying to their hosts without knowing it.

Taking inspiration from this post, here are seven things that hosts actually dislike:

Showing up Early

If you’ve ever thrown a party, you know the last-minute scramble to make sure everything is ready. The last thing you need is to have to deal with early arrivers at the same time. While being on time is correct, it is best to arrive at the designated hour or shortly thereafter.

Trying to Help

The hosts have everything organized in their minds and to have to coordinate extra hands at the same time can be overwhelming. You can offer to help, but be able to sit back if the host declines your assistance.

Bringing Your Own Food

Unless you are on a special diet (and you should let the host know that ahead of time), there is no reason to bring food to a party or dinner party. The hosts have set the menu and your contribution will likely not mesh with the theme. The host will feel obliged to include your dish, which may mess up the flow, and the whole situation will feel awkward.

Bringing Your Own Dishes or Glassware

Believe it or not, there are people who bring their own dishes or glassware to a party. For example, they might prefer “their own” certain wine glass because they think it makes the wine taste better. Even though you may have your particular preferences, this practice can insult the hosts and give the indication that you think their dishware is not adequate. It only makes you look like a snob, and reduces your chances of being invited back for another occasion.

Not Wanting to be First

When the host says that the buffet is open, grab a plate and join in. Don’t wait as not to be the first in line. The food is at its peak when the announcement is made, and the host is excited to see everyone dive in.

Going into the Cabinets

If you need an additional dish or some cleaning supplies, don’t start searching around in the kitchen cabinets. Ask the host to help you. They have certain dishes they’d prefer to use, and particular ways they want to clean up any spills. There’s nothing more annoying that to find guests rooting through your cabinets while you’re trying to coordinate the party.

Jumping into Cleaning Up

Some hosts want to pick up as the party is going along, while others leave everything to the end. Similarly, some hosts prefer to linger with their guests to enjoy their company rather than leaping to wash the dishes at the end of the party. In addition, the hosts have their own way of coordinating clean-up. When you jump in and start stacking dishes, it causes angst to the hosts. Let the host determine the best way to handle clean-up. If they ask for your help, let them tell you how your help is needed.

Tea and Happy Talk | Tea Quotes

“Come, let us have some tea and continue to talk about happy things.”

–Chaim Potok, American Jewish author and rabbi, author of The Chosen

Business Meals in the U.S. – A Quick Guideline

Each country has its own guidelines for business entertaining, and if you want to be successful, you will pay heed to these often-unspoken etiquette guidelines. Here’s a quick guideline for business meals in the United States.

Business Meetings and Meals

• Business breakfasts are common. Expect to be invited to attend a business breakfast outside of normal work hours, like at 7 AM if your regular work day starts at 8 AM or later.
• Business meetings can be held over lunch. Businesspeople gather at a restaurant or order lunch in and expect to hold a meeting during a business lunch, following a few pleasantries to open the conversation. A business lunch usually begins at noon and ends at 1:30 or 2 PM. Alcohol is generally not encouraged, but watch the host for this guideline.
• Dinner meetings generally include a main meal. Expect to be served a main meal, followed by a business discussion. A dinner meeting may include a cocktail party prior to the meeting. Exceptions are indicated in the invitation, such as “cocktails and heavy hors d’oeuvres.” Dress code can also be included in the invitation.
• Interviews can include a meal. Managers may invite you to a restaurant for your interview, in which case your manners and style are quite important, as you may be judged on them as well as your qualifications.

Who Pays?

• When the boss pays. If the boss calls a meeting or you are invited out to a meeting with a business meal, the host generally pays. If the meal is catered in to the company, the company will cover the costs. Exceptions are when you are told in advance of the cost of your meal and asked to pay. Be prepared to pay for your own meal, even when invited out, just in case the host does not offer to pay.
• When you pay. When a group of co-workers or friends gather for a meeting and a meal, each generally pays their own tab. Or when you are invited out socially, even with your boss.
• When you host. If you invite a businessperson, client or prospect out for a business meeting and a meal, you should indicate in advance that you will be paying for the meal.

Business Meals Dining Etiquette

• You do not have to eat. If you are offered food, it is acceptable to decline to eat.
• Remember your etiquette. Even though you are familiar with your boss and co-workers, it is important to remember your basic dining manners. Don’t talk with your mouth full, cut small pieces of food, and use your napkin.
• You can eat with your hands. It is perfectly acceptable to eat certain foods with your hands. See our post on “Foods you Can Eat With Your Fingers” for a list. If it’s not on the list, use your dining utensils.
• Do I stack the dishes? Even though you are holding a business meeting and perhaps need the table space to take notes, it is not acceptable to stack dirty dishes. When you’re ready to hold your meeting, contact your server to remove unwanted dishes and utensils.
• Do I clear the table? If you are dining in a fast food restaurant, you should clear your own table.

Online Business Meetings

• Do I eat during an online meeting? With so many online meetings taking place, the rules can become blurred. At times, the company will provide meals for participants in an online meeting. At other times, meetings may be held at normal dining times, like at noon. These should be the only times when it’s acceptable to eat. If possible, postpone your meal until after the meeting. If you cannot, apologize in advance for eating during the meeting, explaining that it was the only time available for a meal. If you must eat during the meeting, mute yourself. Nobody needs to hear you eating. Remember your manners, too. Don’t talk with your mouth full, and take small bites in case you are called upon. Don’t stuff yourself or eat messy foods during the meeting.

Hey You is a Terrible Business Greeting

One of Miss Meredith Sweetpea’s pet peeves is the overuse of the word “Hey” in business correspondence. I can’t tell you how many times I am annoyed when I get an email from someone I don’t know that begins with ‘Hey you” or “Hey Meredith.” Even if it is from someone I do know.

The word “hey” is far too casual for any business correspondence. It is just not professional and should be removed from a workplace vernacular. It is better to use the words “hi,” “hello,” or even “greetings!” although this last one may be a little old-fashioned.

When you open your conversation with just “Hey,” it screams that you don’t know me and that you’re trying to act casual. Bad start. The same with “Hey there.” Don’t do it.

Even worse is opening the email with “Hey Meredith.” This implies that you know me and are trying to establish that we already have a relationship.

If you want to make this greeting even worse, add a couple of exclamation points, like “Hey Meredith!!!” This gets an automatic “delete” from me.

Using the word “Hey” in any business setting shows that the writer is immature and doesn’t understand the intricacies of business correspondence. If you are writing to someone, whether you know them or not, don’t use this word. Train your business associates not to use it also. Your business will benefit.

What’s the best business greeting?

Take the time to find out and use the person’s name and use the greeting, “Hi” as in “Hi Meredith.” This is casual, yet formal enough to open any email greeting.

 

 

 

Victorian Wedding Traditions

In Victorian England, namely the Victorian Age, certain wedding traditions were popular. Then again, Queen Victoria herself was responsible for setting some new ones.

Victorian White Wedding Gowns

Queen Victoria and Prince Albert’s 1840 wedding

Queen Victoria was the person who made wearing a white wedding dress popular. At her 1840 wedding she wore a white gown trimmed with Honiton lace. Before that, blue was the most popular color, as blue was the symbol for purity. Women most often wore their “best dress”, and if you were wealthy, you showed off your status with rich fabrics like silk, satin or velvet in beautiful hues. Red and gold were popular colors.

The veil was attached to a coronet of flowers, often containing orange blossoms. The bride also wore accessories such as kid gloves, an embroidered handkerchief, silk stockings, and flat shoes decorated with ribbons and bows.

In Victorian England, the entire wedding was intended to be white, with bridesmaids, attendants, and girls also wearing white. You still see this in the British royal weddings of today.

Victorian Men’s Wedding Clothing

The groom’s fashion at a Victorian wedding changed throughout the years. At the beginning of the Victorian era, men wore a frock coat in blue, claret or mulberry, but by mid-reign, this went out of fashion. Men then began to wear the dark coats and black top hat that we still see today. The father of the bride dressed similarly to the groom.

Children’s Wedding Clothing

Children were included in Victorian weddings, with white muslin dresses for the girls with a wide ribbon sash, and green, blue, black or red velvet jackets and short pants for the boys. A round linen collar for the boys was fastened with a large bow.

Bridal Processional Music

Victorian wedding dress

Queen Victoria’s daughter, Victoria, is said to be the person who popularized using the “Bridal March” by Richard Wagner to walk down the aisle to her groom in her 1858 wedding. Since everyday people wanted to emulate the royals, style was often set by the monarchs and their family members.

Victorian Wedding Flowers

Queen Victoria carried orange blossoms in her bouquet, and to this day, British royal brides also carry orange blossoms tucked into their bouquets.

Victorian Engagement Rings

Victorians were said to have started the tradition of giving an engagement ring as a promise of commitment. A Victorian engagement ring often featured a snake with ruby eyes rather than a diamond as we have today. With Victorians big on symbolism, the snake symbolized eternity.

Victorian Wedding Dates

Previous weddings often took place according to the agricultural calendar with the summer harvest months being less popular. October was the most popular month to marry (as it is today). With the advent of the Industrial Age, people had more freedom as to when they would marry. Weddings took place on Sundays when people were off work, and until 1886, they took place between the hours of 8 am and noon. Later, these hours were lengthened to 3 pm to accommodate working hours and social schedules.

Victorian Wedding Ceremony

A 1942 Currier & Ives print of a Victorian wedding

By the year 1900, two-thirds of Victorian weddings took place in an Anglican church. One-sixth of couples held a civil ceremony in a registrar’s office, made legal by the Marriage Act of 1836. From 1856, non-Christian places of worship could also be registered for marriage ceremonies. Girls could marry at age 12, and boys could marry at age 14, but the marriage was not considered “binding” until they reached the legal age of 21.

Victorian Wedding Breakfasts

Since Victorian weddings most often occurred in the morning, guests were treated to a breakfast or brunch instead of an all-night reception. Three wedding cakes were prepared: a fruitcake for the guests, a light-colored cake for the bride, and a dark cake for the groom. The bride’s cake was not eaten, but packed away for the 25^th anniversary.

Secret Honeymoons

It was consider in bad taste to brag about where a married couple would honeymoon. Following the cutting of the cake, the best man delivered the newlyweds to the train station where they would head off to their destination.

Fascinator or a Hat? What’s the Difference?

Someone asked Miss Meredith Sweetpea this week what was the difference between a fascinator and a hat, and whether someone should remove their fascinator when indoors.

Queen Elizabeth II wears a hat, the Duchess of Cambridge wears a hatinator, and Princess Eugenie wears a fascinator.

What is a Fascinator?

A fascinator is created to be a decoration for the head, and is intended to be part of your entire outfit. It might feature feathers, bows, and structures. Its function is to “fascinate” you and anyone within your viewing range rather than serve as a head covering for warmth or protection.

Since they are small, fascinators are generally attached to the head using combs, clips or headbands. Therefore, they can be worn indoors as well as outdoors and need not be removed.

 

What is a Hat?

A hat is a larger head covering, meant mainly to cover the head from the elements or as a fashion accessory or part of a uniform. Typically, a hat fits snugly on the head. It is fitted using a hat size matched to the circumference of a person’s head taken about a half inch above the ears. Less expensive hats come in sizes ranging from small to extra large. Hats often feature a brim and are not attached in any way to the head. There are innumerable styles of hats.

Women should remove fashion hats when indoors at work or if it should block anyone’s view, such as at the theatre, wedding or event.

Related: Hats Off! Hat Etiquette for Everyone.

A Third Style: Hatinators

A third category is called the hatinator, which combines features of both a fascinator and a hat. It looks like a hat, but is much smaller and is fastened to the head. Its brim normally does not reach beyond the head.

History of the Fascinator

Throughout history, Christian women throughout Europe wore head coverings. Many of them were very richly appointed, and donned with expensive trimmings and feathers. According to Wikipedia, “In the 19^th century, a fascinator was also a lightweight hood or scarf worn around the head and tied under the chin, typically knitted or crocheted.” This type went out of fashion in the 1930s.

Hats became smaller, and by the 1960s, were often “perched” upon the head. Remember Jackie Kennedy’s pillbox hats?

Today, fascinators are worn during occasions when hats are customary. You often see them at horsey events like the Kentucky Derby or Grand National. And they are noted accessories to any royal event.

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FIND YOUR OWN FASCINATOR

• Do you have a fascinator? Browse over a thousand darling Fascinators! You might just find one that’s perfect for your look.

Also Read:

• How to Wear a Fascinator
• Choosing the Correct Fascinator for Your Face Shape and Hair Color.
• Can I Wear a Fascinator at my Wedding?

 

Is Say Nothing, Do Nothing the Right Choice?

Miss Meredith Sweetpea often runs across situations where there is an obvious problem or slight, yet nobody says anything. For example, I was standing in line at a sandwich shop when a gentleman walks in and approaches the counter to order his lunch. The woman in front of me did not step up to say she was next in line. The person behind the counter did nothing either. But I said, “Excuse me, but there is a line, and this lady is next.” The gentleman looked back and then realized there was a line and graciously took his place behind me, apologizing for his mistake.His error was an innocent one because the line in this particular sandwich shop was held about 4 feet back from the counter at a “Wait Here” sign.

But this particular situation got me to wondering is “say nothing, do nothing” the right choice?

There are several ways to look at situations to decide whether to speak up or not.

Is it life or death?

If there is a circumstance where someone could be injured or killed, it is always best to step up and say or do something. I once caught a toddler as he tumbled off the end of a dock into the murky waters of a marina. I stepped in when I saw the child careening towards the edge. But nobody else did or said anything even though they all saw the situation as clearly as I did. I jumped up and grabbed the boy by the back of his shirt just as he hit the water. If I hadn’t, would the boy have been sucked under the boats and drowned? I shudder to think of it.

What if your friend had too much to drink and was getting ready to drive home. Would you stop him, take away the keys and drive him home…or do or say nothing?

Do you need to stand up for your own rights?

As in the example with the sandwich shop, I had patiently followed the rules and waited in line. Whereas most people would write off the interloper and grumble about it silently, I stood up for my rights in that situation by politely, but firmly, stating that there was a line. Was I subject to embarrassment or humiliation? Possibly. But I chose to take the chance to speak up for myself. 99.9% of the time, it turns out for the best. By the way, the woman in front of me turned to thank me. She was in a hurry to pick up her kids and was already running late. I wondered why she didn’t speak up.

Can you improve someone else’s life?

If I see a situation where I can help, I step in to do something. Recently a woman was navigating an overloaded cart at BJ’s (and you know how big those carts are) while trying to push her elderly mother in a wheelchair. Dozens of people watched as she struggled to push the chair and lug the cart across the store and out into the parking lot. Once in the parking lot, the ground slanted downward and I could see a disaster in the making, not only for the two women, but for the cars parked there.

Few Hours More Agreeable | Tea Quotes

“There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated
to the ceremony known as afternoon tea.”

–Henry James, author

Heart-Shaped Shortbread Cookies | Recipe | Meredith Sweetpea

Heart-shaped shortbread cookies dipped in chocolate

Nothing goes better with a cup of tea than a delightful shortbread cookie. Try this recipe, courtesy of Ina Garten, the Barefoot Contessa.

Ingredients:

• 3/4 pound unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1 cup sugar, plus extra for sprinkling
• 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 6 to 7 ounces good semisweet chocolate, finely chopped

Directions:

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
• In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, mix together the butter and 1 cup sugar until they are just combined. Add the vanilla.
• In a medium bowl, sift together the flour and salt, then add them to the butter/sugar mixture. Mix on low speed until the dough starts to come together.
• Dump dough onto a flour-dusted surface and shape into a flat disk. Wrap in plastic wrap and chill for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.
• After 30 minutes, roll the dough to 1/2″ thickness. Cut with heart-shaped cookie cutter. Place the cookies on an ungreased baking sheet and sprinkle with sugar. Bake 20 to 25 minutes, until the edges begin to brown. Allow to cool to room temperature.
• If you would like to dip your shortbread cookies in chocolate, place the cooled cookies on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
• Put 3 ounces of the chocolate in a glass bowl and microwave on HIGH for 30 secoonds. Stir with a wooden spoon. Continue to heat and stir in 10- to15-second increments until the chocolate is just melted. Stir in the remaining chocolate until it is completely smooth. Stir vigorously until the chocolate is smoothed and slightly cooled; stirring makes it glossier.
• Dip 1/2 of cookie in just enough chocolate to coat it.

–Adapted from The Barefoot Contessa Back to Basics cooking show; Improptu Dinner episode.